As a queer therapist, I embrace lifelong learning and love sharing tidbits of insights every now and then
I’m also fairly active on social media, especially Instagram. As a queer therapist, I use my Instagram and blogs to share thoughts and insights surrounding my practise. Sometimes I also shared behind-the-scenes activities and take inspiration from my personal and professional life, anything and everything under the sun. My goal is to share, educate, and connect with the public. If you have any topics in mind that you thought would be interesting to discuss, I welcome you to reach out.
Redefining Productivity: Achieving More Without Sacrificing What Matters
Traditionally, productivity is very synonymous with churning output, being efficient, and working relentlesly. This very narrow, one-size-fits-all perspective completely overlooked rest and, in some ways, dehumanizes us.
We are not machine, yet the world we live in conditions us to function (and dare I say, behave) like a machine. We are a cog in the whole system of capitalism.
I was first prompted to examine all this after feeling super burnout after completing my MA. That lightbulb realization inspired me to expand my understanding of productivity to include intentional rest as a vital component.
Reclaiming the pause button: Rest could transform your personal life and quality of work
In my own journey of establishing myself professionally, I need to put myself out there, and it took a lot out of me .
After thinking long and hard, I decided to take a few steps back. It was super surprising that when I honour my body’s needs for rest, take a pause (instead of hitting the accelerator button), I felt calmer, more in-tune with myself and the world.
The rest replenishes my energy reserves, and I am able to approach my work from a renewed, fresh perspective. I feel like I have a lot to give to my clients, and this drive allows me to show up as my best self during session.
My focus and drive are sharp, and I have been personally surprised (in a good way) by how robust my creative juice is pouring out all this thought into paper now.
So well, in some ways my decision to honour my need to rest last month is bearing sweet fruit.
Recharge to Create: Rest is good for creativity
When we detach ourselves from the constant hustle bustle of our daily routines, we actually make space for creativity to flourish.
And being creative is so much more than just doing artistic things. It also extends to many other aspects in our lives, like problem-solving, self-expression, personal exploration and healing
It could be as simple as making space in your day to revisit certain ideas or project or encounters.
This space could help you think outside the box, explore new perspectives, and come up with different ways to approach certain situations.
Reclaiming Rest: Why it is important to hit the pause button in a Hustle-Driven World
In my line of work, I learn to ‘never assume’ others have the same definition and experience of certain word.
So, I think it’s worthwhile unpacking what’s my take on rest, and you get to decide for yourself how it lands for you.
I personally see rest as ‘giving myself permission to JUST BE
It is not a luxury, it is our fundamental human need.
It is also worth remembering that getting a sense of the WHY you rest is just as important as Knowing WHAT to do to rest
The grind culture is very good at promoting this idea of ‘do this thing, buy that item, go to that destination’. The culture makes you think that you need to do this and that to feel a certain way about yourself. It makes you think that rest, vacation is a luxury for those who have the resources to access those ‘extraordinary’ experience or purchase custom-made items.
Escaping the Grind: Why Rest Is the Ultimate Act of Self-Care in Today's Society
Writing my initial article on giving myself permission to do the bare minimum got me thinking about the broader context of rest, work, success, and life. That inspired me to write this whole series.
We live in a fast-paced world that over-glorify productivity. The fast-paced nature of our modern life, coupled with constant connectivity afforded by technology normalizes stress, which has become a bit of a buzz word.
Do you know that stress could manifest itself in so many ways? It can impact the way we see ourselves and the world, and eventually become a roadblock to our personal growth
Our personal identity is like a pan of pizza
Pizza is made up of multiple slices, with each slice representing a different aspect of the pizza. In a super supreme pizza for example, one slice may have cheese pepperoni, another has more olives and peppers, and etc.
Likewise, our personal identity is made up of multiple components, each representing a different aspect of our personal identity. One aspect of our identity is our gender identity, then sexual orientation, race or ethnicity, occupation, cultural background, languages spoken, political affiliation, hobbies, values, mental health status, and the list go on.
Just as each slice of pizza has its unique flavour, depending on the toppings it has. Each aspect of our personal identity contributes to our overall identity, our sense of who we are.
It is okay to do the bare minimum
Contrasting my decision to rest and the grind culture that we live in.
It felt uncomfortable at first when I decided to rest when I live in a world that tells me that in order to be successful I have to be A, going to events B, displaying certain behaviours C.
It is super easy to feel overwhelmed and guilty for not keeping up with the grind.
My month of hibernation made me realize that it is time to challenge these norms and embrace a more balanced approach in living our lives. Coz you know what, you get to define what your life looks like, and not the society out there. The society puts so much pressure on us to be constantly productive and come up with something remarkable.
Though, have we ever taken a moment to pause and actually define what productivity and remarkable means?
Coming out is a lifelong process: There can be several stages to come out
Coming out is a process, as people sift through their personal experience and come to grip with their preference or orientation. the thing is, there are so many more nuances to the whole process.
We live in a society that prefers certainty. Anything and everything that is unclear or not as definitive can be hard to understand. It puts pressure for those who are still on the fence about whether to embrace their new discovery.
Choose your circle wisely: How to surround yourself with positive influences
The people we surround ourselves with will impact the way we see ourselves and live out our lives. As someone who constantly inhale inspiration from my immediate surrounding, I so echo the importance of surrounding ourselves with people who can speak life into our world. In some ways, they can either support or stunt our growth.
From Dreams to Reality: How to Set Long Term Goals and Achieve Them
Instead of settling for a short-term excitement, why not explore doing something long-term?
We could totally do this by looking at the difference between resolution and goals. Then, find out how you can translate your thoughts into tangible actions.
Gender beyond the binary
Gender identity is closely tied up to our self-expression, which is a very fundamental aspect of how we go about our lives as an individual. It’s what made you YOU! It’s a way for us to communicate our sense of self to others without needing to say any words.
When what we presented on the outside matches our internal reality, that’s what we call congruence! It’s a fancy way to say there’s an alignment between our gender identity and our internal sense of self.
If these two points are at odds, it can lead to anxiety, discomfort, and in some cases disgust that the individuals wished they could live in another’s body.
From cap to gown: Part 2
There is no one way to do life. In some ways, embracing this uncertainty can possibly help you stay open to new experiences and opportunities in life. It’s important to take a proactive stance in response to your situation at hand and find ways to reframe what you’re experiencing.
From Cap and Gown to Uncertainty: Managing Post Graduation Anxiety
As the final year of their time at Burnaby North Secondary School draws to a close, Arie and Danny sat together, recounting all of the above statements. They were worried and uncertain about what the future has in store for them. Graduation is coming up sooner than expected, and both were overwhelmed with the prospect of making “the right decision.” The weight of expectations hangs heavy and they so desperately want to get some clarity on their situation.
If you resonate with what Arie and Danny experience above, you are not alone. It’s what we call post-graduation anxiety.
Therapy myths and facts you can share with your friends
Counselling is a very special space for you to have an unbiased sounding board, process your day-to-day experience, and figure out the many pieces of your personal identity. Though in the world out there, people have all sorts of misconceptions and expectations about what counselling is about.
The invisible letter B: Erasure of bisexuality
Some people question whether Anisa is really a bisexual, or if she made that claim to follow trends, based off of the fact that she never made any public announcement about her queer-ness, let alone posted her picture with her same-sex partner. This is what we called the erasure of bisexual individuals.
It is so not okay to expect queer people to publicly announce their dating histories, sex lives, and preference. This approach indirectly implies the general public has a sense of ownership or entitlement over queer people’s personal information and body.
Queer and confused: I like boys and I like girls too
Most of us going about our life in the world, doing most of the things we do consciously and unconsciously impacted by the narrative the world is telling us who we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do. Even though there is no formula per-se in coming out, Anisa’s experience is not an isolated one, and people like her typically went through a process of feeling confused with this newfound realization before coming to grip and finally embrace it wholeheartedly.
Come out on your own terms: Write your own narrative
Coming out is a memorable and important part in the lives of lgbtqia2s+individuals. It is a process where people make sense of their sexual orientation and personal identity. The journey can look fluid and meandering for some, and quite definitive from early age for others.
LGBTQ Labels: “I am queer, does it matter whether I know my labels or not?”
Constantly changing and evolving are a part of life. For some, labels can help people understand their personal identity and make sense of their experience. And for others, labels can feel too restrictive and definitive. How is it for you?
Counselling: Saying yes to investing in your personal growth
Seeing a counsellor regularly is an investment of your time and energy. Processing what you experienced in your life and working through some issues certainly require energy and commitment. Ultimately the reward is a freer, more self-aware person who is better at navigating life challenges.
Maintain your cool: How to deal with strong emotions when others are annoying
The holiday season and some relationship dynamic can be triggering. In a lot of cases, the tension is walking a delicate balance between naming your emotions and communicating your needs, while also taking others’ interest into consideration.
Rest assured that this is common experience and make holiday season a tad challenging. We always have the option to avoid, bury, or numb our painful emotions just to get through the day.