Escaping the Grind: Why Rest Is the Ultimate Act of Self-Care in Today's Society

Writing my initial article on giving myself permission to do the bare minimum got me thinking about the broader context of rest, work, success, and life. That inspired me to write this whole series.

This week, let’s dive in a bit more on the topic of what happen when we neglect rest.

We live in a super fast-paced world that over-glorify productivity.

We are inundated with messages equating our worth with our busyness. I noticed that ‘How tired you are’, ‘How full your calendar is’, and ‘How little rest you got’ are almost seen as a badge of honour.

When you take this view to the extreme: if you decide to rest, some people might think of you as lazy, unproductive, and (worst of all) wasting time.

No wonder we are surrounded by over-stressed, pushed-too-the-brink individuals who snapped at you when you were 5 minutes late to an appointment .

The constant pressure to meet deadlines, surpass high expectations, and maintain certain kinds of lifestyle could take a toll on you.

The fast-paced nature of our modern life, coupled with constant connectivity afforded by technology normalizes stress.

Stress has become a bit of a buzz word, that more often than not we glance over and assume we all think the same about the word.

Let me share my take on stress:

Our natural response to feeling overwhelmed and overloaded with multiple demands.

At the same time it’s also an invitation for us to either moving forward operating the same way or taking a step back and revamp the way we approach life.

Stress could manifest itself in so many ways. It can impact the way we see ourselves and the world, and at the end of the day making us feel disconnected from ourselves. In some ways, it could be a roadblock to our personal growth.

A few of the most common ones I see (in my practise) are:

- People feeling confused with who they really are

- Individuals feeling overwhelmed with fulfilling others’ demands (could be from family, friends, or self) and finding it hard to name what they want

- People feeling like a misfit because who they think they are on the inside doesn’t match how they feel others see them

- Individuals feeling pressured to have to be everywhere all at once and having everything figured out

I so resonate with the part where when we are overwhelmed, it is much easier to default to do what others suggested us doing, rather than taking time to reflect on out values and desires.

The thing is that, operating on this default mode can, over time, make us feel even more confused with who we really are and dissatisfied with life.

This was me many years ago. After completing high school, I listened to what others told me I should do, and soon enough I realized that there was a great mismatch between what others think of me and how I think of myself (and also wished my life to turn out).

That was the beginning of my personal healing journey of undoing and unlearning a bunch of life stuff.

The beginning of this radical transformation was rest.

My version of rest was hitting the pause button on life, taking a step back, noticing what has been happening in my life, identifying what’s working and what’s not working, and slowly started the journey of sifting through my whole web of life.

In the next article, I will flesh out a bit more about rest as the remedy to stress.

And for me, rest was the remedy to my whole confusion and dissatisfaction in my life.

Hello, I’m Nita Agustin

Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Burnaby, BC

My jam is working with queer youth and young adults, especially those who do not want to be defined by what society told them about themselves. I help clients figure out who they are, who they want to be, and how to get there. We do this by processing how their past impacted the way they live out their life today. From our work together, I noticed clients develop better self-awareness and experience improved quality of life as they can show up differently in their relationships.

I offer virtual and in-person sessions near Brentwood, North Burnaby. I am licensed to practise in BC, as well as all across Canada, so I support clients all over BC, all the way from Vancouver to Kitimat. Other than working with clients who reside in BC, I also can support clients who reside in Yukon Territories, Northwest Territories, Nunavut, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Newfoundland.

Check out my About me page to learn more about what I do and have to offer for you. Also, explore my Services page to see how I can guide you in making shifts in your life today. If you feel ready to discover ways to live life on your own terms, I welcome you to book an initial intake session. I am so stoked to meet you and start figuring out how you can show up as your best self!

Throughout this pandemic, I witnessed telehealth virtual sessions become more of a norm, and it has been super transformative seeing clients can access mental health services from the comfort of their home.

There are lots of different stereotypes out there, and society tells us who we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do in the world. It can feel very overwhelming and confusing to compare our personal experience against those ideas. The thing is, you no longer have to be defined by what society tells you. It is your life to live, and you get to decide who get a say about your life.