Gender beyond the binary
You might think that it’s only these gender non-conformist individuals who are affected, you’d be surprised that EVERYONE is impacted!
How so?
Well, take a look at what you have in your closet and what you are wearing day-to-day. Let’s be honest, are they a reflection of you? Anything you’d like to change? What informed or guided your decision in how you’d like to dress up and present yourself?
As I further explore the beauty and complexity of gender beyond the binary, I came to realize that I actually do not quite ascribe to the whole package of what being a she/her/hers.
I cannot quite articulate as eloquently what being a they/them/theirs mean to me, though hey, we are all on a journey and I hope my journey of self exploration will give me clarity over time.
That’s also why in my work I am super duper passionate about helping clients find alignment in their inner world, because guess what, when you feel comfortable in your own skin, it will improve your life quality dramatically. This would then spillover to showing up differently in your relationships!
If I haven’t quite experienced the same struggle, then what’s the big deal about gender identity for a cis-individual such as myself then. 2 reasons here!
Gender identity is closely tied up to our self-expression, which is a very fundamental aspect of how we go about our lives as an individual. It’s what made you YOU! It’s a way for us to communicate our sense of self to others without needing to say any words.
When what we presented on the outside matches our internal reality, that’s what we call congruence! It’s a fancy way to say there’s an alignment between our gender identity and our internal sense of self.
If these two points are at odds, it can lead to anxiety, discomfort, and in some cases disgust that the individuals wished they could live in another’s body.
We do we all need to care?
Like it or not, this whole thing about gender binary actually impacted everyone involved!
How so?
When I heard the above statement for the first time, there was a thin layer of scepticism.
Though, if I was being honest with myself, actually, I was (and some friends and clients too, in personal discussion). The way I thought what being a woman, a mother, a career woman entailed was influenced by what I heard from the media and what others told me about it.
Society presents to us many assumptions, stereotypes, and recipe on “how you are supposed to be,” which is not always helpful! In terms of gender, society displays the binary of man and woman
I am not saying that being masculine or feminine is bad in itself, what I meant to say was that there are more ways to being a person than solely prescribing to the binaries, or categories, that society told us we are supposed to do
I’d say overall, gender beyond the binary is a complex topic, and one article and a few discussions alone won’t convert someone.
I hope as a society we are progressing towards more inclusivity and celebrating diversity.
I hope that our differences won’t be a source of contempt and threat, and instead could be used as an inspiration to create a tapestry of thousands of possibilities.
I hope that over time there will be increased empathy and understanding because gender identity isn’t just limited to a select group of people. It affects everyone across all ages, races, and backgrounds.
If you have been wrestling with the topic of gender identity and want to exist beyond the binary of men, and women, I would love to be your sounding board
Remember that you don’t have to go through the confusion and figure things out alone!
I welcome you to reach out for us to explore your thoughts, values, and hope.
Let’s process those gremlins and come up with strategies for you to live out the best version of yourself.