What to Look for in a Therapist — Nita Agustin Counselling

Therapy is a safe space for you to explore any thoughts, feelings, and life experience.

Deciding to commit to therapy is a very personal and can be stressful. It feels like you’re opening up to a stranger without any guarantee of what would come out of it.

The question then becomes:
“How can you make sure that you pick someone who will get you?”

Research showed that therapeutic alliance is the best predictor of whether counselling will make any positive difference in clients’ lives.

To put it simply, therapeutic alliance is the bond between a therapist and their client.

In my years of experience practising, shifts will start happening when clients feel comfortable with me in the room. They let their guard down and open up about what’s bothering them.

Before this opening up and making transformations happen, a real tricky part is finding the right therapist to journey with you.

I am a firm believer that there needs to be a good connection between clients and therapists, There are so many factors to keep in mind, that’s why it is super important to go through the selection process well.

Let me share a few pointers on what to look for in a therapist

The biggest thing to look out for is whether someone is a good fit for your needs.

So, the very first step you need to do is figure out your goals and motivations for therapy.
Ask yourself these questions:

What are some challenges you are looking to process
What kind of transformation you are looking to make
How would you know that counselling is working aka what would be different in your life right now as a result of going to therapy? Does change look like having more friends, enjoying meaningful connections, and being able to make decisions more confidently? Or what?

If you don’t quite know how to answer these questions, that’s okay too. You’ll figure it out as you check out therapists in your area.

A few things worth considering (based on my observation + personal experience looking for a therapist for myself)

1. Therapist’s expertise and previous experience

I’d say that most therapists would be fairly well-versed with most common mental health issues like anxiety and depression. Though, if you’re wrestling with something that’s more specific like sexual orientation or gender identity, it might make more sense to find someone who have experience helping clients process those issues.

My jam is helping youth and young adults between the age of 10 to mid-30’s move from feeling confused and overwhelmed with their personal identity to showing up confidently in their own skin.

So I’d say seeing folks from this demographic who are struggling with their personal identity and relationships would be my expertise.

That being said, I am able to provide a decent care for folks going through anxiety or depression. Though, I believe that there is another counsellor in the community who specialize in those issues and will provide kickass care for them.

It’s all about finding the best support and connection that help you make some shifts in your life
Going back to therapeutic alliance, I also feel that I tend to click better with folks who are curious about their sexual orientation or gender identity, folks who are wrestling with how their show up in the world. From my experience, I tend to witness most shifts happening in these folks most likely bcs what I have to offer match with their needs.

2. How you ‘vibe’ with them

This point is a tad hard to explain because it’s not something you can see.

Vibe is how you feel the energy and feeling in the room

Tagging along what I mentioned in point #1, your therapist is first and foremost a person. We all have an easier time connecting and building relationships with certain people more than others.

When someone reached out to me and inquired about possibly working with me, I typically invite them to watch this short video to get a sense of my vibe before proceeding with a phone consult.

I am mindful that I am not for everyone.
So, if you’re looking for someone who has a very maternal presence, then I am not your person ;)

An image of an Asian girl pondering to accompany an article about What to Look for in a Therapist — A few things to consider about vibe/presence:

**Gender** — Some folks feel comfortable being vulnerable to someone of a particular gender
**Sexual orientation** — If you’re questioning whether you are queer, you may feel more comfortable opening up to someone with lived experience as queer. Whereas some clients don’t think it matters.
**Gender identity** — Some folks who have been feeling very dysphoric abour certain parts of their body might feel more at ease being in a room with someone who also identity as genderqueer, or agender, or have lived experience as trans.
**Religious background** — Some gay folks grew up in a very religious family and would feel more comfortable seeing a therapist who identify as queer and practise certain faith, so that they feel more assured that the therapist will get their queer questioning side and their religious side

Race, ethnicity, and culture — Ideally, someone’s sociocultural history should not define their competence as a counsellor. Though, in this context we are talking about human connections. Folks with shared history are more likely to understand certain unique issues faced by people from certain culture. In some cases, it makes sense to connect with someone from the same ethnic and cultural background as you. Though, in other cases, it will be more healing to connect with someone from outside that group. It all depends.

Language — Some folks whose first language isn’t English (including me) may feel more comfortable articulating their thoughts in feelings in their mother tongue. Though, in some cases, someone’s emotional vocabulary is more vast in English, so it would be better to connect with an English speaking counsellor… Again, it all depends.

I know there seems like a lot to consider when you are looking for a therapist, though (in my opinion) it boils down to:

Who do you feel most comfortable with?

Similar to how we show up in our day-to-day, we may connect better with some people more than others…

The same goes with us therapist…

I personally feel that vibe best with youth, anyone who’s between the age of 10-30’s.

3. Convenience vs Quality

Another factor to look for in a therapist is whether they offer counselling sessions in a way that is accessible for you.

Doing in-person counselling sessions used to be the gold standard. Though, the pandemic has made it possible to do virtual and phone sessions. That’s why nowadays I offer virtual, phone, and in-person counselling sessions. In the summer when the weather is nicer, I typically also offer walk-and-talk sessions in Confederation Park, North Burnaby.

Convenience is an essential factor that could help make therapy more accessible.

Before approaching a therapist, ask yourself if you prefer doing virtual or in-person session? Or, would you be flexible? For example, in some cases, I will start meeting with a client virtually and move to meeting in-person once a space opens up.
Also, if you have strong preference for in-person, make sure to find out where your therapist is located? Is their office accessible from where you live or work? For instance, I once had a client came all the way from Vancouver Island because they had a strong preference to meet in-person. So, we made that arrangement happen.

I’d say there’s no right or wrong in this point.

If you found a therapist who you really vibe with but their office is a bit of a distance from your house, then you need to ask yourself if spending 2 hours commuting there and back is worth it.

Or, would you be able to accept meeting virtually with this counsellor, even though you would have preferred meeting in-person?

This is true story btw. I made peace with the fact that I won’t be able to spend so much time commnuting on the bus to see my own therapist in Surrey, so we ended up meeting virtually for years. Do I prefer meeting in-person? Yaas.. Though am I willing to spend 4 hours on the bus? Nope.

The point I am trying to make here in terms of finding a good counselling match is:

In considering convenience vs connection, I would advise you against choosing a therapist out of convenience (eg, whose location is nearby even though you don’t necessarily vibe with them)

I’ve heard of stories where some clients continue seeing a therapist even though they do not vibe with them, just because they feel like they have to.

It is a waste of your time and resources to continue attending sessions when there is nothing shifting in your life.

4. How would your investment look like?!?

Counselling is an investment in your own personal growth. Committing to your own personal discovery journey can be quite an undertaking and choosing the right therapist to journey with you is essential.

Check out another article of mine where I shared about:
What does it mean to say yes to investing in your own personal growth?

I personally see ‘investing in your personal growth’ as setting aside time and effort to better yourself. This is a lifelong process and many not have the most definite beginning and end.

Seeing a counsellor regularly is an investment of your time and energy. At the end of the day though, you get to reap the reward with better self awareness.

If you’re wondering what does counselling cost?

Committing to therapy is an investment, so the first question clients often ask is whether it is worth the expense. Counselling session may cost anywhere between $100 to $300 (or even more).

Curious about my rates and policies? Find out here

I am super mindful that the range I provided sounds big.
Yaas, I gotta say that it all depends on geographical location, credential, expertise, and experience level.

My practice is located in Burnaby, so the market price range here would be different from Surrey, Abbotsford, Chilliwack, or Nelson.

In some ways, this cost also depends on how often you schedule the appointment. Most of my clients meet with me either every 2 or 4 weeks. I’d say those are the most popular frequency.

One of the most commonly asked questions I got is

“How does your clients typically pay for your services?”

For the most part folks have extended benefits either from their university or workplace or parents. Each person’s coverage is different. So, they’ll pay me up front and get reimbursed by their insurance company using the receipt I issue after sessions.

For instance, if one’s benefits covers up to $150 per session, they’ll pay me the full cost of the session, get reimbursed for that amount and pay the difference out of pocket.

In some cases where folks don’t have benefits, they’ll pay out of pocket in full.

This is a very long story long way in sharing the last quality (that I can think of) to look for in a therapist:

Is their rate within your budget?

One last pointer here, in most cases, counsellors have a sliding scale. So, if you’re very drawn to work with a local BIPOC therapist, though their full rate is out of your range, I’d encourage you to reach out to them directly and shared about this.

That you vibe with them though their full rate is out of your budget. Inquire if they currently have a sliding scale spot open or if they have a waitlist.

I am mindful that it feels vulnerable reaching out and stating your conditions rightaway. Though, you miss out on something completely if you don’t even try ;)

All things considered, research has shown that aside from all these points, the most important ingredient in making growth happen in therapy is the relationship between you and your therapist. So, if I may repeat one last reminder on what to look for in a therapist:

When you are exploring your options out there, listen to your gut feeling when you look through their profile.
How do you sense their vibe? Do you feel like you can open up to them? Do they seem like someone who can understand you?

**Don’t Give up Before You Even Start**

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and confused in this whole ‘search’ process, trust me, I have been there before. Scrolling through therapist directory and reading through so many profiles can feel like a lot of work **up front.** At some point it might even get *emotionally draining* or *overwhelming*. Super tempting to just abandon the project or settling with the first one who responded to your inquiry.

Therapy is a super personal experience, and it would be most helpful to be vulnerable with someone whom you feel comfortable with.

I am so with you that your search might feel like a lot of work today, it will be so worth it in the long haul! I hope some of the pointers that I shared was helpful and give you a better sense on what qualities to look for in a therapist ;)

What to Look for in a Therapist: Finding Your Perfect Counselling Match

Research showed that therapeutic alliance is the best predictor of whether counselling will make any positive difference in clients’ lives.

Let me share a few pointers on what to look for in a therapist