Your Values, Your Superpower: Why is it important to know your personal values in your 20’s and 30’s
Values, ah well, that is a word that I constantly repeated in my last few articles about end of the year reflection and starting off the year with intentions.
After typing the words a few times enough, I wondered whether this became a bit of a buzzword, where you‘re familiar with it, though not 100% sure what it means and how it relates to your life.
Well, that was me too!
So, let’s peel off what this word means and in what ways it is relevant to your life.
How do you define ‘value’?
Many of us have a vague idea of what matters to us, what drives our decisions and guide our actions. Taking some time and space to reflect on these driving force can help you get a better sense of what’s important to you
Values are some principles, standards, and beliefs we hold dearly
In many ways values are almost like a mindset that drives action and impacts how we make decisions.
Why is it important to know your personal values?
Reflecting on what’s important to us is a very powerful way to get to know ourselves better.
There are hundreds of different values out there, and from the process of our personal self exploration, we can narrow these down to a handful.
I personally see values as some points and beliefs that I hold dear to my heart
>>> Knowing my value is essential because it is almost like a compass guiding my decisions.
In some cases it is the bedrock of why I make certain decisions.
Most people have anywhere between 5 to 10 core values they live by.
Our personal values are like a guidepost we use to prioritize what matters and guide our decision making process. So that we can stay on track with our beliefs and needs.
The thing is, life can get busy and it is easy to get lost in the treadmill of activities and responsibilities. It doesn't help either that the world we live in constantly bombard us with different messaging around what is cool, how you shall advance in life, when you shall tick certain boxes, why you need to adopt the latest trend, and the list goes on.
Why is it important to know your personal values in your 20’s and 30’s?
Erik Erikson, a German-American ego psychologist, came up with a psycho-developmental theory identifying different stages in our life and how we have different tasks and responsibilities to fulfill.
For those of us in our twenties and thirties, this is a time for self-discovery.
Theoretically speaking, Erickson sees that this applies to any individuals until the ages of 18, and this is where I will beg to differ because in my personal life, as well as in my practice
I see time and again that we are still constantly on the pursuit of our personal identity well until we turn 30’s or even 40’s. The journey of self discovery is an ongoing, never ending process.
To a certain extent our personal values defines who we are as a person because by knowing our values, we know what matters to us and it becomes the foundation of our lives
Holding on to and staying faithful to our values are not easy because life will constantly throw at us certain things that makes us either question or doubt why we believe certain things.
When I looked back at my life when I was still in my early 20’s, I remember feeling confused, and often insecure about myself. I also wondered how I would fit into the broader society.
In some ways I had to go through a series of explorations, going through different experiences, both pleasant and not so pleasant ones, to find myself along the way.
When someone asked me if there was anything in my past that I regretted, I used to say yes and wished that I could just skip it over. Though now, if you were to ask me the same question, my response would be heck no. Going through some devastating situations and encountering people who were unkind to me actually taught me a lot about myself and about life.
It is fair to say that the Meandering Journey inspired and taught me my personal values.
Guide your decision making process
Well, just in case you’re still wondering about why is it important to know your personal values in your 20’s and 30’s,..
Think of the time when you needed to make any decisions about whether to end your relationship with your partner or when it would be a good time to renegotiate your salary before looking for another job?
Making decisions can be tricky, especially when there is social or family pressure.
That’s why understanding your personal values is like having a GPS leading you to your intended destination. The tools (aka your personal values) will give you a good sense on which route to follow. You’ll know whether the path/decision you take aligns with your personal values or not.
When you understand your values, it becomes your superpower in making decisions confidently knowing that you are staying on track.
Even if you veer off, you won’t get derailed way too far off bcs your GPS will re-calculate your next step ;)
Just in case you are curious about my personal values…
My core values are authenticity, curiosity, and integrity
These are personal values that are so intertwined with my personal identity as a person who happens to work as a clinical counselor.
>>I structure and show up in my practice according to my values.
Speaking of AUTHENTICITY, I showed up the way I am in my practice. There are not too many degree of separation between ‘Nita the person’ and ‘Nita the counsellor.’
My friends can definitely attest to that
In terms of CURIOSITY, when I meet with clients, I always ask questions from a stance of curiosity and not judgment. Come on, there's enough judgment in the world.
I love exposing myself to new resources and opportunities to expand my knowledge, so that I can keep on growing as a person. I see myself, as well as, my clients benefit from my ongoing commitment to learning.
In terms of INTEGRITY, I believe in delivering quality, and not quantity, and that is why I structure my day the way it is.
Even though it is a common practice within the industry for counsellor to see up to 8 clients a day,
I decided to only schedule up to 3 clients a day.
I typically do administrative or paperwork stuff during the day, and see clients in the evening because my brain works best in generating any ideas early in the day. I am also more alert in interacting with others later in the day.
So now, you get a good sense on why is it important to know your personal values in your 20’s and 30’s, though you’re feeling a tad apprehensive still as you don’t want to commit to something so permanently… Let me tell you that
Values are not dogma set in stone.
Our values may shift and change over time because we are a dynamic human being.
This topic reminds me of negotiable and non negotiable qualities when we are talking about a life partner.
And in the case of personal values, there will be some values that you steadfastly hold onto for decades and there might be some that are more malleable over time.
It is totally okay to pick certain values today based on how you see yourself.
And it is totally okay if down the line, a few months or years from today you adopt a different value.
***Remember that your value matters because it will somewhat add flavor to the story of your life. If you resonate with what I shared yet not sure how to navigate the complexity of life, I welcome you to book a sesh so that you can unleash your superpower and live a life that is in alignment with your values.
Hello, I’m Nita Agustin
Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Burnaby, BC
My jam is helping curious and questioning queer youth and young adults move from confusion to clarity.
Most of my clients shared feeling overwhelmed by the messages the world told them how they’re supposed to be. They do not want to be defined by what society told them about themselves.
In our work together, I guide clients in figuring out who they are, who they want to be, and how to get there. We do this by processing how their past impacted the way they live out their life today. From our work together, I noticed clients develop better self-awareness and experience improved quality of life as they can show up differently in their relationships.
I offer virtual and in-person sessions in Brentwood, North Burnaby. In the summer I also offer walk-and-walk in Confederation Park.
I am licensed to practise in BC, as well as all across Canada, so I support clients all over BC, all the way from Vancouver to Kitimat. Other than working with clients who reside in BC, I also can support clients who reside in Yukon Territories, Northwest Territories, Nunavut, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Newfoundland.
Check out my About me page to learn more about what I do and have to offer for you. Also, explore my Services page to see how I can guide you in making shifts in your life today. If you feel ready to discover ways to live life on your own terms, I welcome you to book an initial intake session. I am so stoked to meet you and start figuring out how you can show up as your best self!
Throughout this pandemic, I witnessed telehealth virtual sessions become more of a norm, and it has been super transformative seeing clients can access mental health services from the comfort of their home.
There are lots of different stereotypes out there, and society tells us who we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do in the world. It can feel very overwhelming and confusing to compare our personal experience against those ideas. The thing is, you no longer have to be defined by what society tells you. It is your life to live, and you get to decide who get a say about your life.
