Intentional Life 101: Live a Life in Your Own Terms
Writing an article about end of the year reflection inspired me to write a series about what does it mean to live an intentional life.
As we are about to end the year, let’s explore how we can start the year off with intention.
For many of us, a new year represents a fresh start.
Some see January as a new beginning and a clean slate.
While some others see it as finessing what went well last year and magnifying the impact.
There’s great motivation to make the next 12 months really count and live differently from the one that just passed. This is where lots of people are gung-ho with setting up new year’s resolutions. Though more often than not, resolutions are short-lived and wane off by March, if even.
As someone who has been on the pursuit of a more sustainable and realistic change, approaching life from a more intentional perspective was super transformative, so let’s get cracking with what does it mean to live an intentional life…
Living an intentional life is about finding ways to live a life that is more aligned with your values.
We move from externally driven to internally motivated.
There is nothing wrong with seeking inspiration from what we see around us, though before adopting certain believes, mindset, and perspective, we ask ourselves these questions first:
When did I first become acquainted with this idea? Who introduced me to this belief?
What drew me to those beliefs/mindsets?
What is so compelling about them (that made me want to buy it)
If I were to adopt this mindset, in what ways would it complement or oppose the ones I had?
How can this nourish me or add values to my life?
One huge difference between a resolution and an intention is how we go about defining success
More than 90% of those who came up with a new year’s resolution gave up not long after because they thought they could not measure up to the external standard they see around them.
Resolutions typically pressure you to tick certain boxes, rather than evaluating your personal circumstances and identifying ways you want to live more according to your values.
This seems minor, though in the broad spectrum of things, this is critical (and something I see a lot come up in therapy).
When we use external standards–be it what we see in the media or what friends promote–it may or may not fit us.
Having a study buddy works well for Sally because the accountability motivated her to accomplish tasks ahead of time. Though, this could be the other way around for Molly who works best solo because she would end up chatting with her study buddy.
So why the heck is living an intentional life make a difference?
Well, this is where we move from having the world define how we are supposed to live our life to defining how living life in our own terms looks like.
An example of this in action would be:
If you’re a university student who feels overwhelmed with constantly playing catch up, a new year's intention could be “having a more well-balanced semester.” A few ways to translate this intention into action could be sticking to 15 semester hours (ahha as long as it does not mess up with your graduation schedule), making space within your week to go grocery shopping, cook, and clean your living space. Finding a cooking buddy. Scheduling your school tasks, etc.
The key is identifying what you value or want to live out differently, and in the case above was having a more well-balanced semester.
After we identified the intention, we came up with several actions to translate that intention into action.
If you’re curious whether I walked my talk, well, sure I did, (*wink) and my intention this year is “showing up differently.”
And after I identified how I intended to have the year unfold, I listed how this looks like in action:
Practise what I ‘preach’ in terms of being vulnerable→I share parts of my life on social media in ways that help forge connections with (current and potential) clients
I show up as myself in counselling setting, that is loud and easygoing→ and clients shared it’s refreshing and disarming to see a clinical counsellor who show up this way | at least based on the feedback I got from clients
I share my offering very well on my website and other marketing materials → it’s very clear that I serve queer youth and young adults, so if you’re looking for someone to support you with chronic pain or trauma brain injury, you get the sense that most likely I am not your person.
As a result of committing those actions, I live a life that is more aligned, what I believe on the inside, I get to display it on the outside.
Authenticity begets authenticity. And that’s what I experienced. I had people (clients also) who mentioned to me that I am different from other counsellors they have met or seen before.
REMINDER: I am not highlighting the quality of being different here as being better than others! Nope, different is just different. I am not the same. I am unique, and that is totally okay to claim it openly.
As a clinical counsellor being trained to listen to and show up a certain way, it has been super liberating for me having the opportunity to practise therapy my way.
There goes my spiel on what does it mean to live an intentional life.
If anything I shared above struck a chord with you, I would love to hear your thoughts, always love a good dialogue.
Samesies, if you feel somewhat moved and feel inspired to live life differently this year, I would love to be your guide in translating these intentions into actions for you.
If you’re curious about how working with me looks like, check out my About me page and if you feel ready to get chatting, hop on to my scheduling page.
Hope to see you in my booking calendar. Together, we will uncover your hidden potentials.
Hello, I’m Nita Agustin
Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Burnaby, BC
My jam is helping curious and questioning queer youth and young adults move from confusion to clarity.
Most of my clients shared feeling overwhelmed by the messages the world told them how they’re supposed to be. They do not want to be defined by what society told them about themselves.
In our work together, I guide clients in figuring out who they are, who they want to be, and how to get there. We do this by processing how their past impacted the way they live out their life today. From our work together, I noticed clients develop better self-awareness and experience improved quality of life as they can show up differently in their relationships.
I offer virtual and in-person sessions in Brentwood, North Burnaby. In the summer I also offer walk-and-walk in Confederation Park.
I am licensed to practise in BC, as well as all across Canada, so I support clients all over BC, all the way from Vancouver to Kitimat. Other than working with clients who reside in BC, I also can support clients who reside in Yukon Territories, Northwest Territories, Nunavut, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Newfoundland.
Check out my About me page to learn more about what I do and have to offer for you. Also, explore my Services page to see how I can guide you in making shifts in your life today. If you feel ready to discover ways to live life on your own terms, I welcome you to book an initial intake session. I am so stoked to meet you and start figuring out how you can show up as your best self!
Throughout this pandemic, I witnessed telehealth virtual sessions become more of a norm, and it has been super transformative seeing clients can access mental health services from the comfort of their home.
There are lots of different stereotypes out there, and society tells us who we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do in the world. It can feel very overwhelming and confusing to compare our personal experience against those ideas. The thing is, you no longer have to be defined by what society tells you. It is your life to live, and you get to decide who get a say about your life.
