Our personal identity is like a pan of pizza
I’ve said this one enough times to clients and friends that it finally felt right to write it down.
I’m a sucker for analogies—especially food ones—and this one stuck: our personal identity is like a pan of pizza.
Seriously. Stick with me.
Our Personal Identity Is Like a Pan of Pizza (Yes, Really)
Think about a good ol’ pan of pizza.
Each slice has its own flavour, right?
One might be loaded with cheese and pepperoni, another might be heavier on the olives and peppers, and maybe there’s that one piece where the sauce hits just right. 🍅
Our personal identity? Just like that.
A combo of slices.
There’s your gender identity, sexual orientation, race or ethnicity, mental health, cultural background, languages you speak, what you do for a living, your values, the stuff you love—music, gaming, hiking, astrology memes. The list goes on.
Each slice = a different part of you. Each one adding to the whole delicious picture.
Just Like Pizza, Our Personal Identity Is Made of More Than One Slice
One slice of pizza doesn’t define the whole pizza.
You’d never say “this is a pepperoni pizza” just because one slice had a little pepperoni on it—especially if the rest is loaded with mushrooms and jalapeños.
Same thing with us.
One part of who we are—our sexuality, our cultural roots, our mental health struggles, our family background—doesn’t tell the full story.
You’re not just that one slice.
You’re the full pie, with all its layers and textures and unexpected toppings!
The caveat is that one slice of pizza does not define the entire pizza, and that is the same with our personal identity, that one aspect of our identity doesn’t define our entire identity.
Exploring Our Personal Identity Is Like Sampling Slices from a Pan of Pizza
Sometimes you want to zero in on one slice.
Other times, you’re tasting a few at once.
That’s how identity exploration works too.
***In therapy, I often hear things like:
“I’m trying to understand how I grew up affects the way I express my gender.”
Or, “I never realized how much my spirituality and sexuality were connected up until recently.”
That’s the beauty of it.
Our personal identity is like a pan of pizza—sometimes we sit with one slice, sometimes we mix and match.
There’s no one right way to eat the pie.
Here’s what I’ll leave you with: you’re not static.
Who you are—your identity, your sense of self—is always shifting and growing. Like pizza dough rising with the right ingredients and warmth (yes, I went there).
One Final Reminder: You Are Dynamic, Just Like a Pan of Pizza
Where you live, who you hang out with, what you learn and experience—all of it shapes how you show up in the world.
So whether you’re still figuring out what’s on your pie, or you’ve been mixing flavours for a while, just know this:
You are whole, even when you’re still discovering your slices. 💛
When I work with clients, I often say that our identity isn’t one single thing—it’s the whole pie. Just like a pan of pizza is made up of many different slices, who we are is made up of many intersecting parts.
Some days, you might want to take a closer look at one slice—
like your gender or cultural background.
Other times, you’re sampling from a few at once,
like when you start noticing how your spiritual beliefs bump up against your queerness, or how language shapes how you express yourself.
Each slice matters. And they all come together to make you, you.
Our personal identity is fluid, and may shift over time depending on our encounter and experience.
Curious how come? Find out why you need to choose your circle wisely
The journey to personal growth and discovery starts when we started questioning why we do the things we do.
So yes—our personal identity is like a pan of pizza in so many ways.
And just like no single slice defines the whole pie, no one part of you tells the full story.
Hello, I’m Nita Agustin
Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Burnaby, BC
My jam is working with queer youth and young adults, especially those who do not want to be defined by what society told them about themselves. I help clients figure out who they are, who they want to be, and how to get there. We do this by processing how their past impacted the way they live out their life today. From our work together, I noticed clients develop better self-awareness and experience improved quality of life as they can show up differently in their relationships.
I offer virtual and in-person sessions near Brentwood, North Burnaby. I am licensed to practise in BC, as well as all across Canada, so I support clients all over BC, all the way from Vancouver to Kitimat. Other than working with clients who reside in BC, I also can support clients who reside in Yukon Territories, Northwest Territories, Nunavut, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Newfoundland.
Check out my About me page to learn more about what I do and have to offer for you. Also, explore my Services page to see how I can guide you in making shifts in your life today. If you feel ready to discover ways to live life on your own terms, I welcome you to book an initial intake session. I am so stoked to meet you and start figuring out how you can show up as your best self!
Throughout this pandemic, I witnessed telehealth virtual sessions become more of a norm, and it has been super transformative seeing clients can access mental health services from the comfort of their home.
There are lots of different stereotypes out there, and society tells us who we are supposed to be and how we are supposed to present ourselves to the world. It can feel very overwhelming and confusing to compare our personal experience against those ideas. The thing is, you no longer have to be defined by what society tells you. It is your life to live, and you get to decide who get a say about your life.
