Discover your best self: How to know when it’s time to see a therapist

There is a common misconception that therapy is only for those who have severe mental illness. When in fact, we all experience stress from time to time and our mood may fluctuate.

You may have thought about the possibility of seeing a therapist at some point.
And you decided to go through things on your own first.

Knowing when it’s time to see a therapist could be tricky sometimes. After all, we all go through some rough patches every now and then.

This still bear the question if you' have been tinkering with this idea for a while

“Is there a way to know when it’s time to see a therapist or commit to counselling?”

Let’s start with what is counselling

Counselling can be a safe space for you to process how your past impacted the way you show up today. We can explore ways for you to show up differently in your life. This is also a space that can help you move from confusion to clarity. And the best part is we get to do this at a pace you are most comfortable with.

How to know when it’s time to see a therapist?

1. You live life okay yet sensing that there is more to life

This is exactly why I sought therapy in the first place 10 years ago.

I experienced complex childhood trauma and needed someone to walk with me on the healing path. For the most part, I felt like I went through life okay, though deep inside I felt that there is more to life than the routine that I lived at the time.

The pain from my past planted seeds of insecurities and doubts that impacted the way I showed up in relationships.

I felt stuck and even more isolated when I tried to process of my unresolved trauma on my own. At the time I felt ready to do the work, and even though it took me three tries to find the right fit, initiating the process was the best decision I ever made.

2. You experience lots of stress and get overwhelmed easily

Your emotions seem to run your life, not the other way around..
And that’s no fun :(

Emotional regulation is our ability to control our emotional state at any given moment.

Imagine accidentally spilling coffee on your textbook while studying for finals.

A baseline reaction would be feeling upset that your book is now soaking wet and a mild irritation that now you need to clean up your desk. If you find yourself barking at someone, it might be a sign that you have troubles regulating your emotions.

Being able to regulate our emotions is important because our emotions is closely connected how we think and feel, which will eventually translate to our overall functioning and quality of life.

A therapist can help you figure out why you reacted the way you did in those scenarios and explore ways you can respond differently in the future.

3. You constantly felt unsure with how you present yourself to the world

Picture these…

You love wearing baggy jeans and buttoned up shirt after shaving your hair short. Though you felt horrified as soon as someone approached you and asked if you’re gay.

You have been drawn to colourful nail polish and wanted to decorate your hand and toe nails with rainbow colours. Though you felt unsure if that would make some classmates comment.

If you ever caught yourself thinking ”ugh, why do I have these stupid thoughts, I wished I could just have all these figured out.”

Know that you got company.

Feeling unsure about yourself is a sign of a shifting sense of our personal identity.

It is totally a normal part of growing up and becoming our own person.

In fact, the process of developing clarity in our personal identity involves trying out new ideas or different personas or looks to see how they fit.

It doesn’t help that we live in a world that constantly tell us who we are supposed to be and how to get there. So, it’s totally normal to feel confused with how you are supposed to show up if the way you felt like showing up does not conform to the norm.

This is where a therapist can help you discover your best self!

4. You want to find ways to navigate life better

No matter how capable, mentally healthy, and resilient we are, we all go through some rough patches when we need to cope with something difficult.

Coping skills are things we do in-the-moment to deal with stressful situations, so that we can still go about with our day.

Coping is something we all do, whether we do it consciously or not.

The thing is that not all coping skills are created equal. Sometimes it’s tempting to do things that give you a quick relief but will create bigger problems down the road.

That is why it’s important to sift through things because you want to make sure that the things that you do will help you.H

5. Your relationship suffered

Picture this.

Chloe is a 15-year-old girl born into a devout religious family. She grappled with a profound internal struggle with whether she is born into the wrong body for the longest time. She loves playing with cars, trucks, and fixing something for as long as she remembered. She always hated playing with dolls and anything stereotypically girly, like pink and Barbie.

She also felt disgusted when she had her first period. Things got worse when her chest started changing. She could not take it anymore, so as soon as she hit the age 18 and could sign anything government related on her own, she decided to pursue hormone readiness assessment and kicstarted her transition. She now identifies as Beckham.

Her family was super upset at her and stopped talking to her.

Her church buddies also felt super confused and ostracized her.

Beckham’s coming out process as trans was harsh. It was almost either choosing their family or themselves, something that SO many trans individuals have to contend with.

In Beck’s case, a therapist can help them/him process the impact of their family and buddies ostracising them. While at the same time support his transition process and help him find other network of people.

Did you resonate with any points above?

If you’re still questioning if your story is worth telling, know that it is :)

I hope that the article have given you a better sense on how to know when it’s time to see a therapist.

And also, even if you still feel on the fence about whether to see a therapist, it might worth giving it a try.

Talking to someone other than your friends or family members can sometimes be helpful.

I welcome you to book an initial conversation, so that we can figure out what is going on in your life today and how you want your life to look like.

Hello, I’m Nita Agustin

I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor based in Burnaby, BC. My jam is working with queer youth and young adults, especially those who do not want to be defined by what society told them about themselves. I help clients figure out who they are, who they want to be, and how to get there. We do this by processing how their past impacted the way they live out their life today. From our work together, I noticed clients develop better self-awareness and experience improved quality of life as they can show up differently in their relationships.

I offer virtual and in-person sessions near Brentwood, North Burnaby. I am licensed to practise in BC, as well as all across Canada, so I support clients all over BC, all the way from Vancouver to Kitimat. Other than working with clients who reside in BC, I also can support clients who reside in Yukon Territories, Northwest Territories, Nunavut, Saskatchewan, Manitoba, and Newfoundland.

Check out my About me page to learn more about what I do and have to offer for you. Also, explore my Services page to see how I can guide you in making shifts in your life today. If you feel ready to discover ways to live life on your own terms, I welcome you to book an initial intake session. I am so stoked to meet you and start figuring out how you can show up as your best self